From Red to Pink - Part V: SPIES, SUCCULENTS & LOOK DAD I'M ON TV
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Read Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV
SPIES, SUCCULENTS & LOOK DAD I'M ON TV: After a display like that first town hall, I felt icky, not gonna lie. I wasn’t the only one. Morale definitely went down a bit around the office, and it made me want to show some appreciation to my team, at the very least.
My grandmother loved to remind me of two things: how hard the depression was for impoverished families such as hers in Kentucky, and to always be kind. So, naturally, I went out and got everyone some baby succulents as tokens of my support! They served as something we could watch grow over time right there at our desks, simultaneously reminding us of how far we’ve come and that it’s not so bad, even on bad days.
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Red and green little pots adorned the desks of my team members, and we each took a moment every day to move the roller shades in the windows and give the succulents some direct sunlight. I like to think that, in taking care of these plants, my team members were also taking some much-needed time for themselves. Someone else, however, DID NOT feel that way.
Before too long, but still out of the blue, we received word from someone on the custodial team that the succulents must be removed, effective immediately. We were understandably confused, as this was a cannabis company - we literally facilitated the sale of plant medicine. Also, I have to say it, who cares? Thankfully, we were already on friendly terms with the person delivering the message, so, after we had done what we were told, the truth came out. Someone at the very top (of which there were only two people it could have been) told their assistant to tell us (who then got someone else to do it) because the succulents were reportedly “not the aesthetic.”
Let this be a clear signal to any leadership in or out of cannabis who thinks that making calls like this works; it doesn’t. You are so much better off taking responsibility for your call, because if it’s your company it’s your choice anyway. Simply put, coming from that angle garners respect, and in turn still gets you back to your “aesthetic” without your employees thinking less of you. Obviously for months after this I made sure to jokingly use the term “aesthetic” in all kinds of ridiculous ways. I have my dad’s keen ability to have a one-liner for everything. It’s a Gunter coping mechanism. Cheap shots and comedic low-blows inspired by rumors continued to circulate in regard to the aesthetic king. Everything from, “I heard his Pomeranian never touches the ground,” to, “I heard he has a house-boy.”
Besides the endless snacks, Everytable vending machine, nearby convenience cafe, and rad food truck selections for lunch, we only had a Target within walking distance from the office to head to if we wanted to get away for a meal. Naturally, I wandered often for lunch with headphones in, either memorizing lines for an upcoming film project or enjoying time alone with a good book. I rarely had human company, except for that of one person, a friend in Business Intelligence - a department I didn’t even know existed until she and I fell into a conversation about books and got to know each other after an event. We’ll call her Tina; I like that name and it’s close enough.
From then on, I found myself walking with Tina often, either on the way back from a food truck trip or while on a “pen break,” etc. We would laugh together about people around the office, we would trade books, and we would gush about how much we would LOVE to be on the campaign team for A.O.C.! Rarely did we discuss our departments, but one day, out of nowhere, she confided in me that she felt her department was “full of spies.” I remember laughing in our silly way, but her face was still completely serious. When I asked for more info (who and why), ready to shut my yap for a change and be a listener friend, she hesitated to continue, but seemed pressed as she reiterated that she could not trust a single person she worked with, and that’s all she could say.
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Woah, I remember thinking. Could I trust the people I work with? I mean, can you trust anyone, really, further than a certain point at least? I was just Sourcing and Production, so I hoped so, but…what? I could not imagine a single person in my area of the office being any type of spy, and laughed to myself at the thought of the buyers or master data bros in black ninja outfits. I mean, hopping through lasers and narrowly avoiding booby traps…for legal weed?
From that point forward, however, I began to notice things - like bodyguards. Yes, there were bodyguards. We were instructed not to acknowledge them, but when there is someone there, I can’t just not acknowledge them with at least a nod or a “Hihowyadoin?” This is why I would not make a great empress or queen with guards around constantly. I’d need to know all their business. I would offer them some water or snacks all day and make sure their kids were doing okay in school; that’s how much I care.
Speaking of knowing someone’s business, these bodyguards could be the chattiest of Cathies at the oddest times. Sitting reading my book alone at lunch - “Do you like to read?” No, I just like sitting here holding the book pretending to read - I mean DUH! But of course, as angry as I was that I had to be polite during my single solitary free hour to get out of my brain and into my Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M. book, I was always polite. Every. Single. Time.
Talking to a co-worker in the kitchen, I would feel my ears burning and look up - bodyguard. While walking to and from lunch, I would look up to see someone standing on the sidelines of the parking lot - bodyguard. Leaving at the end of the day, I would close my car door and look out the window after placing my bag on the floor in front of me - bodyguard. I was beginning to think that either I was being surveilled a bit, or that I was starting to notice someone else’s paranoia. I was grateful when my unpaid two-week vacation came up to shoot the movie I’d been doing character work on for the past eight months.
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Shortly after my return from the shoot, the episode inspired by Red first aired on a popular adult cartoon (further inspiring one of the main storylines of that season, might I add). I was over the moon! I’d been watching the show with my dad since I was in fourth grade! People shared the clips at work like a sports highlight; no one really cared if it was positive or not. Further research on the inspiration behind the parody simply had to do with Red being the member of a cannabis advocacy organization that urged New York’s governor against “home grow” in a section of a letter. I also couldn’t help but think, Why was Red just getting the spotlight? There were at least six other companies attached to the letter, so why does the public sphere care so much to ascribe Red as the poster boy of corporate cannabis greed? As if it starts and ends with them. As if the very battles of modern American values are exclusively being waged in a single company within an adolescent industry. As if this company is suddenly expected to operate with complete integrity in order to validate its existence. I don’t think so.
Put yourself in some other shoes here for a sec and ask yourself: is it reasonable to expect a company that has become a big player - existing and growing to that point without federal support or rights whilst being taxed to the bone and competing with an illicit industry claiming 80 percent of sales - to look after its own financial interests in creative ways? Well of course! So, how do you get the state and local governments to tax less? You try to get in with the ones taxing you to death so you can of course influence them to cut it out.
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You see, you really need to be taxed less, because it is already expensive enough to run a cannabis company with all the risk (cannabis companies can’t file for bankruptcy, for example) and hoops to jump through, what with cannabis still being a Schedule 1 drug. No one who values you from the stock market perspective really knows what it costs to do what you do either, and then there’s the whole not allowing people to use credit cards as a payment option thing.
What, would you rather them fight “the man” and the illicit market at the same time? Please. Here in the capitalist oligarchy we actually live in, Big Tobacco and alcohol companies have and still can do whatever they want. Jeff Bezos and Amazon can exploit whomever they choose, and don’t have to even pay taxes while they do it! Tobacco and Alcohol may be old industries, but not Jeff’s.
The truth is, shady behavior is an accepted, expected, and oftentimes glamorized piece of “doing business” here in America. From “iconic” mobster movies to those films glorifying tragic stockbrokers, let’s not kid ourselves. It became clear to me that no one had any interest in accountability from any of the others, nor from the system that perpetuates the rules in which they can legally exist.
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Because of this and other things, I am not surprised nor mad at Red, but I still understand there are plenty who are, and with good reasons of their own. If you think the fact that taxes are so high while the illicit market cleans up is mere coincidence, I pity you. The writing on the wall is bold and clear to see. How ironic that the company going after the stigma of cannabis usage fell victim to a stigma of its own - one that I, as well as many others employed at Red, felt long after layoff. The stigma I’m referring to followed me into “Pink” in a big way. “Winter is coming,” we were advised at the last town hall by the co-founder I favored. I don’t think anyone could have prepared us for the true winter that 2020 would bring, a winter that cannabis is arguably still weathering...
Tune in next week when things finally get PINK!
