Green Future Dreams
Photo Courtesy of Dima Mukhin/Unsplash
Here’s a scenario with which I’m sure you’re familiar: You pull up to your favorite fast food drive-thru. Even though you picked the restaurant and knew what you wanted, it’s nice to have options. Maybe try something new? Maybe not.
“Yeah, lemme get uhhhhhh…”
Similarly, I’d wager this scenario is familiar: You enter your favorite grocery store. Aisle upon aisle of easily recognizable and categorized items. Especially when you get to the Health Care aisle, where you find multiple options for pain relief, indigestion, allergies, straps and braces - not to mention varieties of supplements aimed at specific conditions.
Perhaps, like me, you’ve also encountered this scenario: You walk into a dispensary, and you want something more from your cannabis than simply getting stoned. “Hi, what sort of broad-spectrum strains do you have, particularly with CBN for my nighttime anxiety?”
Okay, maybe you haven’t used those exact words, yet most retailers will respond, “We have a 23% THC indica you can try…”
Growing up in the ‘80s, I was undoubtedly a child of America’s war on drugs and the D.A.R.E. program. I don’t recall what that stands for, but I do remember I was supposed to “Just say no!” In fact, I had no idea what marijuana smelled like - I was raised in a sheltered, middle-class neighborhood. All I knew was what television and teachers told me: “Drugs are bad!”
Therefore, it’s no surprise that pre-teen Jonathon was confused when a franchise called Drug Emporium opened in my hometown.
This was it! I was finally going to be dared into taking drugs! I didn’t know which ones, but certainly this Supermarket of Substances would supply them all!
A Bazaar of the Bizarre!
A Mall of Marijuana!
A Flea Market of Felonious Phenomena!
Only after a brief correction and arbitrary “don’t do drugs” speech from my mother did I discover we live under the mad rule of a dichotomous government when it comes to their definition of “drugs.” Since then, I’ve often joked that Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms should be a massive warehouse store, not a government agency. But what if there was such a union of my ignorant childhood misinterpretation and the above scenarios?
Like many of you, I have physical and mental ailments that require treatment. And I know cannabis offers a variety of strains that can provide natural relief. We need a new war on drugs, one that dares to focus on employing the whole plant - not just “popular” cannabinoids.
I look forward to the day we can go to a real drug emporium to get the health care we deserve. “Hey, Jon, welcome back! How’s your digestion been since having COVID? Nausea-specific strains are on aisle four…”
We already have Dope Dispatch in Colorado, so why not be able to use your Amazon app for home drone delivery? In my imagined future, this Utopia of Sinsemilla will have that, plus order-ahead apps and drive-thru windows. Inside, aisle upon aisle of countless strains organized by “Organs & Ailments.”
Just imagine: a Plaza of Pot, a Boutique of Buds, a Castle of Cannabis, a Palace of Proclivity!
“Yeah, lemme get uhhhhhh…”
Drop a comment if you know a dispensary that organizes their product like this, or at the very least has budtenders knowledgeable enough to point us in the right direction. They deserve some praise, and all the patrons they can handle.
