The Warrior Spirit of Mike Robinson: Awakening Into Confusion
In a blurry haze, Mike slowly came back. Even though his life seemed to have paused, his strong will could not. “I worked my way out of the hospital bed into a recliner that sat next to it.” The fog from the anesthesia was so heavy that when the nurse spoke to him, it was just a voice in the breeze.
“I had been injected with what I didn't want, but there was a true need. I was comfortably numb with the drugs they had supplied and Cannabis Oil.” The surgical oncologist came in right as Mike was putting away a syringe. The report came in. “There was conflicting data, so CT Scans and PET scans were being paired with the films of what he saw inside of me," Mike recalls. “My blood counts had dropped to 20% below the normal level.”
This meant his body's resources were going towards building tumors. "The tumor seeding is so immense, there are thousands of babies trying to grow, but they're all white - it looks like everything is dying." He couldn’t believe what he was hearing! So if it wasn’t exactly tumors then what was it? “That's when I first heard the words ‘Mesenteric Mass.’”
“Five biopsies had been taken from the areas that had the highest UV Density.” Mike explains that, in his experience, this is how they determine if cancer is present. ”It was way too high of a UV to be something else, but he wasn't sure if it was cancer, or if it was still alive.”
Blood work accompanied that morning’s coffee, but Anne Mari was there to keep him company. Anne Mari is a major advocate in Mike’s life for doing whatever needs to be done to help him. It makes sense, because in their presence you can feel the love between them. Mike reflects: “As I look back it's impressive how much of a rock she was for me, even with two kids in school.”
For them, waiting for those remaining details was like an itch that couldn’t be scratched. All Mike could do was stare out the window, pondering his situation. ”I sat, no longer in a surreal world of things that just can't happen to me. They were happening and there was no stopping this out-of-control train.”
Can you imagine? I ask because that level of fear is something most of us probably won’t experience. “I don't process fear well, my mind races”, says Mike. “That night was so stressful, I tried to stay away from conversations with people other than my loved ones. After telling Anne Mari and Sydney that I loved them, I drifted off, with my phone in-hand.”
The next morning he sat back, sipping on an extra strong cup of coffee with Anne Mari by his side, ready for whatever news may come. Once again, the oncologist came in, but this time the words that came out of her mouth were more shocking than anything they were preparing for. "Mr. Robinson, I have excellent news. All biopsies are negative and you do not have Cancer."
Despite how unbelievable this was to hear…he had to believe it. Anne Mari certainly did, “and this is a doctor after all.” Mike thought, still aghast at the outcome. Anne Mari couldn’t wait to get the house ready for him to return home. As always, questions in Mike’s head began to swirl fervently.
“Why was the PET-positive with a high-density UV signal across my entire abdomen?“
“How come there were fields of tumor seeding and dead tumors in me that she didn't talk about?”
“Why did the surgical oncologist tell me all of this was inside of me?”
Before he was free to go, there was just one last visit from the surgical oncologist. "Mr. Robinson, after you get settled in, please call my office, I'd like to personally see you.” And with that, Mike tucked the card away, as “the likelihood of an erroneous declaration of Cancer Freedom was high.”
But not all was over, there were still questions that needed answering! Now determined to get his hands on every test and report they had from that hospital stay. This wasn’t a small problem. “...a huge mass, low blood counts, and unclear biopsies that included very rare cell types, nothing indicating a Cancer free individual; it was 180 [the opposite].”
To Mike the patient, it all felt like one lie after another. His primary care doctor even became equally irritated with the lack of test results in his chart. After spending more time than he would have liked on it, he made the choice. ”It was time to request a transfer to a new Oncologist.” As Mike’s PCP explained, “Diffuse large B Cells could morph deep in the marrow, into a small cell lymphoma,” and this new oncologist is a specialist in those.
With the oncologist switch going to plan, by mid-January the battle to quit opioids was on. Mike was ready, even if he wasn’t taking as much as he had been prescribed, because to him, ”stretching them out was out of the question.” The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts, but this time he didn't mind. “I was going to be seen by the best in the west for Non Hodgkin's transferences.” The phone calls weren’t done yet though, GI would also call, to set up an appointment to assess what was going on in his gut. Mike got off that call smiling, thinking to himself “maybe I could get rid of this Non-Hodgkins Diagnosis?”
Shortly thereafter, it was time to see the new doctor. "I see you've been treating yourself, and doing an overwhelming job at it as well, Mr. Robinson." The whole appointment was a blur, even though the new guy was to the point and explained everything extensively. He really believed in what Mike was doing!
Next, the new doctor went on to explain that by typical measures, the cancer was disappearing. He still had a high UV density however, which was concerning, and still confirmed that at least one point there was living cancer. "The high UV density can't be ignored when it's across the entire abdomen and has duration as it did, and coupled with lab tests, [this] indicates the necessity to further explore Non-Hodgkins, and continue to keep it as an active diagnosis.”
The doctor ordered a PET scan, this time with a special note. “We may proceed with more biopsies or find that you've managed to heal yourself.” A second dose of great news was coming from GI as well. “I will recommend that the Mesenteric Cancer be removed from your chart, as it is no longer present."
It was not just educational, but also inspiring listening to Mike talk in such detail about his most recent cancer battle experience. But I had one last question for him:
I asked him one last question: What did you take from this experience?
"We have to be on top of our treatments, integrative medicine is a must. Using cannabis on its own, can be a mistake without having imaging and everything else to go along with it." He continued "Don't leave your entire life in the hands of people collecting a paycheck, make sure you double check, then triple check, ask questions, get a second opinion.
Today, as you read this, Mike is recovering and making plans for his life ahead. And as always, his girls will be by his side supporting him every step of the way.
