ZMayor & Diana: A Love Story
ZMayor’s Favorite Plant/All Photos Courtesy of Author
Disclaimer: This story is told from the point of view of Jonothon I. Wild, who commonly refers to the main character “ZMayor” as many names according to how he feels, relates, observes or even responds to a situation or event. They should be interpreted in a commentary manner. These are usually written “scriptio continua” style, with capital letters used to separate the words within. For example, ZMayor is referred to as “HisBoulevardness“ because that’s where his situation unfolds and “HisSlightlyBruisedShip“ because that’s the damage he sustained in the car accident. Please enjoy!
This love story begins with an accidental fender bender.
After mild carousing, ZMayor was homeward-bound. Traffic was almost nonexistent; the visibility was excellent. Roads were dry. Imagine his surprise when foreign exchange students Emma and Elsa rammed his gold-flaked, custom white vinyl-topped Dodge Charger. These two adorable Scandinavians did not run their side street red light; they simply misinterpreted its meaning. He noticed them long before he almost dodged them at this wide-open intersection. It was charming, as accidents go.
As HisBoulevardness sat on one curb, he received updates and briefings from the friendly officer after he interviewed, afterwards gently ticketing the slightly shaken and stirred students seated on the other curb. Both vehicles were drivable.
HisSlightlyBruisedShip stopped by their curb to ask if they would be ok just before he continued on his homeward way. Appropriately, this gentler vehicular accidental experience would introduce him to the gentlest Dragonfly of them all - Diana.
The accident had pissed off his rhomboids. They demanded deep tissue attention or would no longer bend over backward for him. He knew no Rolfer, and neither did the Yellow Pages. How about a Massage Therapist who was certified in Rolfing? He called the first therapist using the word certifications in their listing.
Diana usually did not pick up.
Certified in nine modalities and in demand, she only saw clients four days a week. However, she worked eight to nine hours of sessions each day. Her clients became friends and loved her. Her receptionist usually handled information calls, but this time ZMayor had his own agenda, and wanted answers the receptionist needed help to give him. Fortunately for him, Diana's next appointment had called and would be late; so the receptionist gladly handed HizAgendaness to Diana, who had a rare, spare moment. Diana would make it short and sweet for him.
"Rolfing can be appropriate for some. I am not certified in that modality, nor do I believe the aggressive Rolfing technique is best for my clientele." ZMayor's train of thought suddenly carried no freight. While listening to those last two sentences, HizRomanticRadarness picked up a signal. The lovely lilting voice answering his Rolfing query caused a version of the Cocktail Party Effect on HizDistractedness. One might say her voice had sent his Superior Temporal Gyrus on a Cupid's errand. Her answer had eluded his pre-frontal cortex and headed directly to the right side of his Amygdala via the aforementioned STG.
"I'm sorry," sputtered HizBrainFartness. "What did you say about Rolfing?"
"No Rolfing, here." She was also certified in Extrasensory Perception (ESP). Something in ZMayor's inquiring voice must’ve caught her attention, because she needed no new clients. So, for reasons not entirely understood by her at that moment, she added "Would you like to schedule?” Her voice was absolutely worth the price of admission.
"Yes, what is your longest, earliest appointment available?" HizSubtleness, asked.
"I'm booked until- “she was about to find her calendar when he inserted: "Of course, place me on the can't-waitlist, please."
Four days later, her receptionist called ZMayor. "Diana said if you can be here in 15 minutes, an appointment has become available.” He lived 12 minutes away. When HizNewClientness arrived, Diana smiled, and in her smile ZMayor could see her thinking to herself ‘hmm…man matches voice.’ She then introduced him to her studio, and told him he could lose whatever attire to make him comfortable. He checked 'none' on the clothing optional menu. As HizBirthday-Suitness lay face down on her table, he appeared to be what any self-respecting squirrel passing beneath his headrest-framed face would be slightly startled by. That hue any tomato smuggler would describe to his scurry friends only as a Polish Barred Owl.
In a few minutes, a gentle knock on the door was quickly followed by the voice. "Are you ready for me?"
Diana the Model
"Yes," responded HizRawness, even if he wasn’t ready, his rhomboids were thrilled.
She knew her way around the Rhomboids as well as the Tensor Fasciae Latae, Teres Major, and, of course, fan favorite Gluteus Medius and his big brother Maximus. They talked while she applied exactly the right amount of pressure on each one of them.
Diana grew up in San Diego. She trained quarter horses and aspired to be a competitive equestrian. College mates told her she should model. She was discovered by a big-time Chicago photographer, but she didn’t like the meaning of modeling. However, she did want to travel. She enjoyed the snow-capped mountain shoots, as well as the desert locations. “Travel and money” she thought. Why not? She believed in “meant to be.”
Diana the Equestrian
Three sessions later, or as HizLoveOfHerness would later call it - first base, Diana posed the following question (other clients were asked the same question, he would learn later):
"Would you mind if I mounted you? I find that from that vantage point, I can exert the proper pressure and have the most leverage for moving tissue the way it wants to be moved." He took a moment and it clicked - she was an equestrian.
"Sure, anything for my rhomboidboyz." HizSteedness smiled as he watched her feet go by, and then felt the weight of her expertise on his back. The Boyz were pleased, as well.
Two sessions after that, he finally asked her to dinner.
She sighed... "It is not practice to ever date clients: I'm sorry."
"You're fired." he replied.
His rhomboids were pissed, but the following two years after that would be pure bliss.
The lovely well-house by the pond at ZBend
Diana loved gardening and ZMayor saw her as a Dragonfly of the highest order. They would purchase property at the end of the road, on a river bend which they christened “ZBend.” It was here that they deeply and sweetly fell in love.
They enjoyed “The Devil’s Lettuce” while watching the sunset. Diana loved ZMayor of Budsburg's herb and spiciness. The well-house by the pond had been built by the previous property owner (a cattle farmer) as a Valentine's present for his wife. It was beautiful in the morning light outside their bedroom window.
The two years passed in a Lover's minute. They loved each other more than dirt. Love grew.
Diana loved her father. He left long before her mother. Her mother left California to nest in a spiritually-forward community just west of the Rockies, Grand Junction. During the two years of bliss, mom was beginning to show her age. Diana’s mother was a masterful gardener and a well-read artist. Diana loved her mother.
Conversations began to be about the care needed out west. ZMayor agreed. She gave him six months' notice. He appreciated the gift of time with which she wrapped this heartbreaking news. He had present life choices, also. They would keep in the St. Louis area for at least a year.
Sadly, softly they parted. The phone flirting slowly faded into each other's new life. HizSingleness broke the heartbreaking news to the Budsburg ladies. HizLoneliness spent the rest of that growing season at ZBend, spending his weekends caring for his cannabis plants also referred to as “The Ladies of Bburg.” When he needed a fan leaf to cry on, they were only a Stoner's-throw away.
Art By Rebekah Jenks
The ladies knew they would miss the Dragonfly. Her lilting voice of encouragement had been a fan-leaf favorite. Weekend after weekend he would care for ZBudsburg ladies, around the pond, over the dale, behind the barn, and along the way. They listened quietly as HizSadness updated them on HerGoneness.
ZMayor had a good habit of not playing favorites because he believed each and every lady was unique in her own Phenoness. Though he would never mention it to the others, this season and this season only, he had a favorite. She was alone just south of the barn. He would take time to gently guide her limbs each visit. He would compliment her on her pistils and terpene perfume. He would take time to gather Forget-Me-Nots on the way. The Dragonfly loved the white ones. They reminded her of the snow, and her winter walks at ZBend.
As he sat with this particular lady at the end of the season, he would tell her how graceful she appeared in the early fall sun. He would sit next to her and gently adorn her with the Forget-Me-Nots. "You are becoming more beautiful each time I see you. I will miss you."
Diana's mother passed away a few years later, but Diana remained a strong voice in her spiritual community. She and ZMayor would meet in Denver from time to time. The last time they were in Denver, she left a note on their nightclub table for him when he returned from a visit to ZMensRoom:
“If I was to tell you that in just the act of looking into your fawn-brown eyes my heart begins to sing again - a joyful feeling rushes over me - to see you, to hear - your voice - to smell your fragrances is to ignite my love waves in a most pleasing manner. I love you!
P.S. Let’s go downtown”
Diana’s love note to ZMayor
Diana was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012. As a result of her strong reservations towards the medical community, she refused any formal medical help and was instead given every conceivable natural food, drink, tincture, spice, powder, and natural remedy she requested; cared for in her home by her loving friends and spiritual community until she passed on May 25th, 2013.
ZMayor interviewed most of those who loved her that attended, even video recording a sacred gong session on her behalf. The following year he presented a video tribute to her.
During a bedside recorded session with ZMayor she once said:
Summer Honeysuckle at ZBend
"A lot of people have told me that when they are with me, it makes them feel better? I've been thinking for a long time, while I am lying here in bed, why that may happen. And, I really think it comes down to...I don't have any special powers, but what I do have is a pretty well-developed ability to see the spirit of the person that I am with. And, once you recognize that and they feel that recognition, they gain something from that recognition. My whole goal in life is to see everybody as they are - as spiritual beings. It's a powerful thing for others to see somebody— recognize them for who they are— the beautiful, beautiful loving beings they are."
She was loved by all.
